She landed in last night’s dream
asking your face upwards, showed you
two crows at the white sky.
You smiled at their beaks
pointing opposite, tail feathers
meeting roofline in a quilled tip.
Crying to flight, she wiped fine
your deep cheeks, loosened the pain
in exchange for freedom to go on alone.
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Jane, can’t seem to get to your page to tell you, Excellent, Excellent and outstanding. Great passion and love the language. >KB
a warm thank you, KB.
again some very cool turns of phrase….asking your face upward…nice…the quilled tip on the roofline…but that last stanza really brings on the emotion for me…loosing the pain for the freedom of going on alone…wow felt jane…
landing in last night’s dream…what a cool image…really grabbed me from the start and then the little “conversation”..so much in this…the quilled tip on the roofline and the decision in the closure..dang..fine write jane
Jane… that first line really pulled me in… the two crows… and I especially like the last stanza.
That last stanza and specially the ending line clinched it for me ~ Is it a dream or reality ~
Fine writing Jane ~
Oh how cool is thy? The idea of landing in a dream grabbed me right away. The imagery is awesome in this!
Fascinating poem. I love “She landed in last night’s dream.” Those words beg me to read on. The last stanza is breath-taking.
this is excellent. Love the way the tails met the roofline. Strong piece, really effective. Thanks
The last stanza hit me like a punch in the stomach. Very very good.
Ooh to land in a dream – love your imagery throughout – definitely dreamscape. Fascinating stuff indeed.
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Anna
Interesting imagery and mood. I’m not sure if I do get it but I thought it is surreal and haunting as well.
Very interesting diction, that feels trapped, works very well. Wonderful close. k.
PS – great/beautiful sadness too – something about not just the dreams, but the bird physicality – beaks/tails – in the midst of the clear humanity. So dreamlike in that especially I thought. k.
Haunting images.
This was gorgeous. One of my favorites of the night. You state things so beautifully, with so many poetic turns of phrase (‘asking your face upwards’) which read as resonant and natural. Sometimes trying to sound “poetic,” can result in convoluted phrasing, but not here: your lines unfold with pure grace. Their surprising wording really serves the dreamlike quality of the poem. Every line is a winner, and– gosh– that opening! “She landed in last nights dream…” so inviting, and it sets the tone perfectly. I feel, in reading this, that I -have- landed inside someone’s sad and lonely dream. Thank you for sharing it; this was a pleasure to read.
…some really nice turns here…& def you nailed it with that finale tercet.. excellent…smiles…
Thank you, Kelvin. : )
Interesting dream — birds are such awesome messengers
From first to last – simply exquisite.
thats an epic opening!!
welcome to my blogroll, Jane
Thank you, All for your encouraging comments.
Asking your face– loved this
Love your verbs here–choice and usage both–they give this a very unique and quirky dreamscape-feel. The imagery is almost like fever. Very fine short verse, Jane…and the crow is always a medicine bird for me, as it were–flying to and from other realms–that comes across strongly in the way you paint them in this spirit visit.
Another fine post that feels like being in another dimension. You do know how to weave fantasy and mood.